I was shocked when I realized my last post was in September.  I am in my second semester of school, and have been feeling pretty overwhelmed.  I like going to school and the challenge of learning, but working full time while taking classes is much harder than I thought.  This semester has been even harder than the last.  I have been doing well, but I have been exhausted.

Then, I lost my mom. And I haven't recovered. She did so well all through the winter, staying fairly healthy.  One Sunday, we were making plans for me to drive over and have a sleep over, and the next day she was in the emergency room unresponsive from a heart attack. Two days later, she woke up and was able to recognize all of us and tell us she loved us only to slip away forever a few days later.  For the past 30+ years, every Sunday afternoon, I called my mom to visit.  We would talk during the week also, but it was our Sunday afternoon visits that I really looked forward to. Last Sunday, was hard. 

I am finding it impossible to focus at work or with my online classes.  I didn't think I could feel any tireder, but I was wrong.  I have been trying to extend some grace to myself and allow myself the time to grieve.  I have co-workers that have dealt with their grief by throwing themselves into their work or a project.  That is not me.  I feel drained, numb, sad... I miss her.