Learning to feel

Driving home tonight I felt overcome with such a feeling of sadness and loss that it was almost physically painful. It hit without warning. Normally, if this happens I try to stuff the pain as far down as possible as fast as I can. This time I waited, and I allowed myself to feel some of the pain. Not all, but some. "God, help me to be willing to let you touch this part of my heart."  "I don't want to turn away from it any more." That was all. Just a quiet acknowledgment. It was oddly comforting. It was a start.